I hate money. I know hate is a strong word, but I think it's appropriate in this case. People behave oddly about money. Some claim to not care about it; others will sell their souls for it. Some believe money is the root of all evil, while others believe without it, they are nothing. Personally, I hate dealing with it.
While money provides me with necessities and extras, it's such a hassle when we don't have enough of it. Nothing feels worse than working so hard for our money, paying the bills, and realizing nothing's left. It almost feels like all our hard work is pointless. In my rational mind, I know this isn't true, but our check register runs red far more often than it runs black.
My son recently asked me why I don't believe money brings happiness. He cited examples such as people who have billions of dollars, and pointed out that they are happy; they can buy whatever they want. They don't have to save or deny themselves anything. Technically, he's right. I'm sure millionaires and billionaires deny themselves, but are they happy? Are those of us in the middle to lower-middle class happier? Does money make people happy or unhappy?
My entire life has been lived counting pennies, watching budgets, denying myself things I want. I heard "can't" as a child, constantly...we can't have this...we can't go there, and now my own son hears the same words. My mother was insistent that I go to college to have a financially secure future, and yet, I still struggle to pay bills and buy necessities. I don't live in a mini-mansion, I don't wear fancy clothes or take exotic vacations (unless camping in the Colorado mountains counts as exotic). But as prices rise, my paycheck stretches until it's near a breaking point. It's not going to stretch much more.
So I hate money. I hate needing it, desiring it, and wishing for more of it. I hate telling my child 'no' to just about everything. I hate thinking of different ways to make more of it. I hate what it does to me, to my husband, and to those around us. I just would prefer to have enough of it.
