As a child, I was surrounded by aunts. I loved my Aunt Eleanor because she reminded me of a redheaded Cher. She wore clogs, had long, straight, beautiful red hair, and carried an embossed leather purse. I once found a smaller version of the same purse and carried it too, wanting to be like her. She liked reading, and I liked reading. She was quiet, and I was quiet. I thought she was marvelous.
Out of all my aunts on my dad's side, she is the only one left. She no longer wears bell bottoms or clogs, and her hair isn't long and straight anymore. In fact, she's 64. She is still quiet and a reader, and after all these years apart, we are slowly reacquainting with one another.
My other favorite aunt on my dad's side was Aunt Edie. A lifelong spinster, she was fun, quirky, and religious without being pretentious. She too was quiet and a reader. I loved her because she smiled all the time at us, treated us lovingly, and gave the best (albeit the oddest) gifts. I was a child; I loved presents! One of my favorite presents from Aunt Edie was a transistor radio fashioned like a hamburger. I spent many nights with it near my ear, quietly listening to song dedications and learning about the world of love in 1970s LA.
On my mom's side, my favorite aunt was Aunt Sara. She wore White Shoulders cologne and always smelled powdery. She was a quiet speaker who had picked up a Texas accent after living there for a number of years. She loved reading, needlework, and Diet Dr. Pepper. She would come and visit my grandmother every so often, and I loved sitting near Aunt Sara, not only because she smelled so good but because her words and tone were soft and caressing.
Aunt Sara is long gone, and the only remaining aunt I have on my mom's side is Fran. As a child, I found Aunt Fran scary. Although she married, she never had children and often could not relate to us. It seemed like she was always yelling, whether at us or just in her usual speech, her tone was loud. Her husband was also scary; he had a unibrow, a cigarette always in hand, and a loud, gruff voice. I was allowed to bring a book to her house, where I tried to make myself as invisible as possible while my parents visited with them because they frightened me so badly.
But Aunt Fran is my only living aunt on my mom's side, and I'm finding it much easier to talk to her now. I write to her every couple of weeks, and she calls me to just visit. I think it's important to get to know her after all these years because she is my last link to my mom. Once Aunt Fran is gone, it will feel like my mother's entire family is gone.
As I'm now an aunt to two, I've had to decide how I want them to see me. Am I fun loving? Loud? Accepting? I don't want to lose touch with them because it's been such a privilege to watch them grow up, to be part of their lives. Some day when I'm gone, I want them to remember me with love, like I remember my aunts.
