I recently spent the past week at an educator's conference in New Mexico. Because of my husband's work schedule, we decided our son should spend six days with his paternal grandparents. His grandparents were excited to have him, and it seemed like a good idea...at the time.
When we picked up our son six days later, he stepped on the scale for fun. "Oh wow," he said, "I weigh 130!" My jaw hit the table. I've been watching my son's weight creep on, and while I'm trying to not be a dictator about how he should eat and exercise, he gained 10 pounds in one week! His grandmother denied he weighed that much, so he stepped on the scale again, and still it read 130 pounds. If my son were, say 13 or 14, I'd expect him to weigh that much for his height. But he's 9!
After our son went to bed that night, my husband and I discussed his weight. My husband was the 'skinny kid' as he was growing up, and his perspective is the ridicule he suffered for being too thin. I, however, was the 'fat kid,' the kid all the others laughed at and called names like, "Hungry, hungry hippo." I know what it's like to be the fat kid, and I know our son is headed in that direction.
My husband also made a good point about his parents' lack of concern regarding how our son ate. He mentioned that his parents don't seem to care about what goes in their mouths, how they eat the same way as they once did, regardless of what they know about healthful eating now. Why, he asked, should they care what our son eats? Plus, I realized that my mother in law is a 'food pusher'--she pushes food on people, forcing them to eat more than they intend to eat. I watched her do that to my husband the other day, and he ate more than he normally eats. My husband can burn five pounds in one day, so I'm not worried about his weight or how much he eats. However, I need to better educate my son to resist her food pushing, especially when he's full.
My son and I had a quiet conversation about his weight gain, and I knew I had to be careful. I remember conversations with my own mother about my weight, which often ended with me feeling worse about myself and sneaking cookies to make myself feel better. I don't want that same fate for my son. We simply agreed that 130 pounds is unhealthy for his height and age, and we need to remedy this. I told him that we would, together, up our activity, work on crunches, and eat better. He wasn't feeling so hot with such a stomach on him, and his self-esteem, which is generally pretty low, plunged lower. I told him that I love him and all I want is for him to be healthy.
Last night he grudgingly went on a walk with me and our dog, but I could tell he felt better by doing so. Today we rode our bikes for 11 miles, which doesn't sound that far but is because of hills, terrain, and heat. We did crunches before breakfast, and he chose how many we would do. He goes back to karate tomorrow, which will also help.
Heart disease, including high blood pressure, strokes and heart attacks, runs in both families. Diabetes and hypoglycemia are also problems on my side of the family. Both of his paternal great-grandfathers died of heart attacks. His paternal grandfather has had a stroke. His paternal grandparents have a host of health problems, some due to their weight. I want my son to have a better, healthier life. And while I struggle with my own weight issues, I know I need to work harder at being healthier because I'm a role model for my son.
I want my son to love himself and his body. And I vow to do whatever it takes for this to happen.
