Today is one of the bad days in education. Why? Because today we found out that we have to redo our SMART goals and reflections to fit a new format. For many people who do SMART goals and reflections, this may seem like a ridiculous issue. However, for teachers, especially high school teachers, it's cumbersome and time consuming, focusing less on actually teaching and more on crunching numbers. Students become "product" rather than the people they are.
I like students, and I like teaching. I like reflecting on the day, week, month, and year. I like focusing on my students, trying to decide what each needs from me. I like planning lesson, and sometimes, I even like grading. Data, in the form of numbers, doesn't help me much as I am easily confused by the mathematics that goes into data collection.
What frustrates me the most is this: I want to provide my students with a challenging, enriching education, and I work hard to accomplish this goal. I want my students to leave my room more capable and confident than when they arrived. I spend a great deal of time working with my students, including evenings and weekends. And yet, it feels like I'm not doing enough. I have to spend hours in front of a computer, recording those who are high, middle, and low achieving students, and then justifying all interventions I used to help them succeed. If they aren't succeeding I need to spend even more time justifying why they aren't succeeding. While I agree that a teacher has a significant impact on the success of a student, other factors, including parents, home environment, and peers, also contribute to whether or not a student is successful.
Days like today are a drag. They drain me. After spending hours trying to complete what was asked of me, I gave up in frustration. Draining days force me to question whether or not I'm in the right profession. Many will say, well quit. But it's never that easy. I don't like to give up, and I don't like to hurt my students. And I don't want to be homeless. I need the money. But I also need my students.
I guess I'll head back tomorrow and do my best for the day, putting off what confuses and frustrates me. Not the best solution, but the only one I have right now.
