One of the most difficult aspects of being a teacher is the regular nightmares. To wit: I'm currently on vacation, and yet I can't stop dreaming about school, mostly about what can go wrong.
I'm sure, in most professions, people have nightmares about their jobs, but mine seem to be based on my deepest fears and greatest insecurities. During the summer, I dream about not being able to manage a classroom so students walk out or it's utter chaos. During the school year, I dream about administration or certain students who vex me. Of course, I still have the classroom management nightmares, I mean, it's a pervasive fear. But this morning, I dreamt of a parent...
No parent, in particular. An amalgam of different parents with whom I've dealt over the years. The parents who scream and insult. The parents who are so angry, their voices shake. The parents who leave hate-filled voicemails or who write vicious emails. My nightmare dealt with that parent.
I don't understand what drives parents to be so vicious toward teachers. I know our profession has good and bad teachers in it. What profession doesn't? I know there are teachers who are easy to work with and teachers who are not. I know we bring our anger and frustration with our child, our own parenting, and our own emotional baggage regarding education and teachers to each meeting. But what I've never understood is why all of that has to come toward an individual teacher.
I've been threatened, insulted, screamed at, accused of lying, and had my words twisted. At this point in my career, I don't want to work with parents anymore. Before Back to School Night, my stomach is in knots. I've experienced disrespectful parents and parents who want to fight me at that time. One year, the parents were so badly behaved, other parents had to ask them to be quiet. Another time, a parent wanted to argue with me about the use of MLA and why I was wrong about its use. One parent, who was also a teacher, wanted to challenge our curriculum in front of a room filled with parents.
Then there are conferences. I'm physically sick days before the event because I don't know what I'll face that night. Will I be bullied? Insulted? I had a parent one time sit down and tell me how I was her son's favorite teacher. I was surprised and told her so. I figured the student hated me. She said, "Oh, you thought I was serious? He really hates you." What can be said after that? During our last conferences, I had a student with some serious anger issues, and regardless of what I said, she had rude and disrespectful responses. Her family marched up to an administrator and demanded a meeting or a new teacher. She was given a new teacher. Not that it mattered in the end, because her issues had nothing to do with me.
As a parent, I know how difficult it is to work with a teacher whose philosophy runs counter to one's own. My son's teacher last year was like that. She gave a great deal of homework, none of which was ever graded. I thoroughly disagreed with that philosophy, and yet, I felt it was in our best interest to support the teacher. I didn't insult her, scream at her, or trash-talk her to my son. I want my son to know that even if he disagrees with someone, he needs to be respectful.
Most teachers I know didn't go into the profession to get rich or to torture children. Most teachers are doing the very best for their students, which is made more difficult by changing standards, administrators, and difficult parents and students. I simply wish parents and students would understand that teachers are in their profession to help, not hurt them.
As for me, I also hope my nightmares stay nightmares and not become true experiences.
