I made a mistake today. Just one? I'm sure you're wondering. The answer is simple; I looked at my class rosters for the upcoming school year and found I have a student I hate.
Now hate is a strong word, I know. One I've rarely used in 19 years of teaching. But this kid, well, I hate him. He's rude, disrespectful, disruptive, and the sight of him makes me anxious and angry. I never know what he's going to do or say, or how he's going to undermine my authority in the classroom. I just know he will. He is a misogynist, which is apparent in the ways he treats me and other females.
When he was a freshman, he threw food around my room, spit juice at another student, strutted like a peacock--disrupting the classroom--and was loud and rude from day one. I tried to make connections with this student by greeting him with a friendly smile and a cheery hello when he entered the room, only to be ignored. I encouraged him and cheered him on when we were working together in class competitions. I took an interest in his academics and complimented him for the academic success he was having. I tried talking his sport with him. I've talked to him privately in the hall, usually another successful strategy to make connections with boys, letting him know I was on his side but needed him to be cooperative, only to have him ridicule me when he returned to the room.
My reward for this effort? Continued disrespect, rude behavior, condescension, cheating from him, poor behavior during standardized testing (nearly invalidating the tests of not only him but his entire class), disdain...the list goes on. By the middle of his sophomore year, I gave up. I've tried ignoring him, which he hates and which makes him behave worse. I've contacted his parents, which upset him and made him behave worse. I've talked to his administrator and counselor, who have basically told me to deal with him. I've spoken to his coaches, which hasn't helped, except when he's in-season. His parents have requested his removal from my class. He has requested a transfer. I've requested it. Nothing. We were both told to deal with one another, to figure it out.
By the spring of his junior year, I couldn't stand the sight of him, nor could he of me. Days when he left or ditched were great days for the both of us as well as his peers. They also feel the stress he causes when he's present. Any time I've had a substitute, he makes an effort to tell the sub how much he hates me and how evil I am. I make certain the subs know he's going to do this and to let me know what he says. My final straw was when he began cheating during a game with another class. I removed him from the game, and he started yelling at me, verbally abusing me. I went to the office with him in tow, disrespecting me in front his administrator. His behavior was still not enough to even have him suspended. Instead, we were again told to deal with one another. What finally changed was when he disrespected his administrator, finally he was removed because it was proved that I wasn't lying. We were told he wouldn't be put back in my room.
And why would I lie? I have a 19 year career on the line. I have 19 years of working with students, some who were discipline problems. Why would I lie about one student? What really galls me is how my complaint with this one student has been completely disregarded. He was the only student whom I referred to the office last year. Actually, I think in the past three years. Most problems I can handle. I am galled that I, a veteran teacher, am degraded and disrespected by a student as well as administration, forced to endure repeated harrassment from him and his friends. And nothing is done about it.
So what was my mistake today? I checked my rosters to see how many students I'll soon have, and there he is, again, on my roster after we were promised he would be moved to another classroom. I just don't have energy for him. He's not worth fighting. There's no way he'll ever let go of his hatred of me, and I know I can't let go of mine. This is not a good life lesson for him. I'm not sure what the purpose is with keeping him in my room, but no one is winning. No one is happy. And I don't believe either of us can take one more year with each other.
