I will be sitting in a meeting. Because of my job, there are few times during the school year where I can do something with my son at school. We have a tradition where I take him to school on his first day, every first day since he was in pre-kindergarten.
But tomorrow is different. Instead of spending quality time with my son, I'll be in training. Sure, I'd like to be late to the training, but I have to weigh the consequences. Do I miss my son's first day of fourth grade, or do I miss a training for something I'll need sooner than later?
When I explain to him that I won't be able to take him tomorrow, he makes one of his customary nine year old noises, "Ahhhhh," which is one of his many annoying noises. This is the disappointed noise. The noise that lets me know I am failing as a parent. Or at least that's my perception of the noise. I assure him I'll be there immediately after school to pick him up, crazy dog in tow, which seems to make him feel better. His happy noise is "yay!" While he doesn't seem to mind my absence from our ritual, I know I do.
I know that he'll enter fourth grade only once. After that, he's a veteran. I won't be able to help him find his teacher or the spot where he's supposed to meet his class tomorrow. I won't be able to watch him march bravely and resolutely into the building in his new Chuck Norris t-shirt hunched over by his overloaded backpack. Never in years past has he turned around for one last look; I assume it's because he knows I'm still watching, waiting for him to enter his realm. But this year, this year seems unfair. I have only one child, and I try to miss as little as possible where he's concerned. I won't get any first day of fourth grade do-overs.
But my work duty calls. And, as many people like to remind me, I'm lucky to have a job in this economy. I just hate it when my job interferes with my other job...my mom job.
