With varied and numerous methods of communication, it seems to me that our ability to communicate with one another has deteriorated. Moreover, we expect quick responses to texts and emails, and when people don't respond, we grow frustrated and impatient, sending a follow-up text or email. 20 years ago, when I began teaching, I called parents and left voicemails (a recent technological advance for the time). Should they wish to respond, they called me and left a voicemail. Or I sent notes home. I even mailed letters. Now, should a parent email me, they expect and immediate answer. More often than not, they get it because it's expected that I respond quickly.
Email, Facebook, and texting have made it simpler to end frienships, have arguments, or provide the courage to say what someone would never say in person. Because it's hard to understand tone and undertone in texts and emails, recipients often have the wrong idea about the author's intention. It's too easy to hit "send" and to difficult to reread what's been written to determine if tone is appropriate or not. Disconnection is inevitable when we allow the computer to do for us what we are too scared to do in person.
Years ago, I could go shopping or to a museum to relax and get away from everything. Now I have to take my phone with me. What if there's an emergency and I'm needed? Or so I'm told. I find myself checking my phone several times a day to see if I've any texts or voicemails. Of course, it's easy to ignore texts and voicemails, but then I feel guilty for doing so. We are so connected to one another that we lose a connection to ourselves. I miss being unreachable, and whenever I shut off my phone or leave it at home, it seems like that's when my phone is busiest and people panic because they can't get ahold of me. I would be gone for hours as a teenager, and my parents couldn't activate my GPS since there was no GPS. They didn't monitor my phone calls. They trusted me and empowered me. The reliance on cell phones, for example, has taken away the feeling of empowerment in our younger people, and they are now unable to much for themselves.
Email, Facebook, and texting, while providing us another method of communication, have taken over our lives. Wi-Fi in the grocery store or on the bus? Heck ya! Computers and internet access in the hotels or motels? Why yes, I have to check my email on vacation. Something important might have happened. With a few strokes of the keys and a send button, I can let everyone I know what I'm doing, who I'm seeing, or how I'm feeling. I don't have to have long, personal conversations with people anymore; I can do a short conversation by text. I can be both connected and disconnected at the same time.
There's also the notion of multi-tasking. Checking one's cell phone or email while in the company of another person, for example. It drives me crazy when I'm out to eat and a couple (or more) is sitting at the table, completely engaged in their own cell phones. No live conversation is taking place. It also drives me nuts when I'm talking to someone and they're texting or checking Facebook at the same time. I'm present; they are not. When this is done to me, I feel as though I'm completely irrelevant. I actually ask students to put away their phones while we're conversing, and they're shocked that I require their attention on me while we're conversing. Watching parents text or check the internet in front of their children only teaches this rude and inconsiderate behavior to the children. They will continue to perpetuate this rudeness as they grow older.
I find that cell phone usuage has no etiquette. It's now permissable to take calls in movies, at museums, the grocery store, and to do so on full volume. I hate sitting in a public bathroom, listening to a phone conversation from another stall. Really? Peeing while talking on the phone? It's hard to enjoy time out when I'm listening to people's loud conversations on their cell phones. I've even watched people texting during church. Why bother going to church if texting someone is more important? Texting during funerals and weddings is also tacky.
Because of our disconnection from one another, formerly unacceptable behaviors are now acceptable. Our disconnection from one another via electronic devices has made it difficult to maintain interpersonal skills, such as conversing with one another or even giving our friends, partners, and children the attention they need and deserve. Our expectations of one another have also changed; quick responses to our messages and impatience when that doesn't happen. While it's pretty neat to sit in my bedroom, talking to someone in Madrid, what about my husband who is sitting next to me? Technology has empowered us and crippled us simultaneously. The loss of interpersonal skills will do what for our society?
