I decided recently to visit a dermatologist; it's not that I'm worried about skin cancer yet, but I want to be proactive and make sure my fair Irish skin is okay. I have moles and cysts, and I thought it was time to have them examined. I did some research on dermatologists and settled on one group near my home. However, after my first appointment, I'm less than enthused with the doctor I saw.
He asked me why I decided to see a dermatologist after years of having moles and skin bumps, and as I have pondered his questions, I find them somewhat offensive. Why not? I have a right to decide when I will see a doctor about a particular issue. I then made a mistake when I asked about the cysts problem. I have cysts in different places, and I'm a bit worried as to their cause. His response? Lose some weight.
Weight is an extremely sensitive subject for me. I have struggled with my weight throughout my life, and I find it frustrating to have people lecture me about it. Granted, I've obsessed over his comment for the past few days, but then, who is he to lecture me? I met him for less than ten minutes, and he had already formed an impression of me based on what he saw.
What he doesn't know, nor will he ever know, is how much I struggle to lose weight. I spent nearly four years on WeightWatchers, and regardless of what they say, I don't think it works for me. I walk five times or more a week, except for now that I've torn my fascia. I watch what I eat. I've cut out nearly all sweets and have limited my exposure to processed food. I cook well-balanced meals. I only drink water and have eliminated all sugary beverages from my life. I don't drink alcohol; I don't do drugs; I don't smoke. Based on this evidence, I should be thinner but am not. Why?
My doctors have run blood tests to see if something else is wrong, but they've only determined I need more vitamin D and a small thyroid pill each day. Beyond that, I'm pretty healthy. Yet this dermatologist does not know any of this, nor do I believe he was interested in finding this out. I regularly speak with my medical doctors about my health and weight, and it's not as though I don't know I'm overweight. And while I have fair Irish skin, my mother was Italian, and nearly all my cousins--and my mother--struggled with their weight their entire lives. Is my weight genetic? No idea. What does this dermatologist know about me except that I'm a fat woman sitting before him who has cysts?
And the rest of my skin issues? Age. That's it. It would be nice if medical professionals actually learned about their patients before linking their weight with their health issues. He wasn't interested in knowing about the cyst on my foot (how is that weight related?) nor about the cysts that are developing in my breasts (which may be genetic). Will I see him again? No. I don't need that kind of stress in my life.
Just because I'm fat doesn't mean I'm oblivious to my weight nor does it mean I sit on my couch and eat junk food all day. And it doesn't mean I'm not worried about my health.
