It's Sunday evening, the dreaded time of day, at least for the 10 months I'm in school. Sunday evenings are especially difficult after a vacation or break. I'm still in vacation mode...sleeping late, going to bed late, wearing what I want. I spent part of today grading two stacks of papers, trying to catch up.
Our next several weeks will be filled with assignments, meetings, grades, phone calls. My inbox will fill with emails. Nights will be spent grading papers, trying to catch up and/or keep up. This first semester begins slowly, but it picks up speed right after Homecoming. The last month of school is a flash, and our holiday break is spent trying to recuperate.
There's also the anticipation of the holidays, trying to fit in traditions or to start new ones. I'm always torn between going to see lights and grading papers. A non-teacher might say, "Lights, of course!" But other teachers are nodding their heads; they know what I mean! I don't think I've watched a Christmas movie in years without a stack of papers in front of me.
So why dread the inevitable? I have to work; we need the money. I choose to teach; I could be out of a job. I think it's because I've reached a stage in my life where I'm tired of living by someone's clock, someone's expectations of where I should be, what I should be doing, and when I should be there. I want to answer to myself, like I do during the summer. I dread the quick passage of time over the next few weeks, the workload, the exhaustion. I dread lunch at 10:45 and bathroom breaks every 90 minutes, maybe. And mostly, I dread waking up at 5:20 again. Ugh.
But much like the seven dwarfs, I'll be whistling a song as I point my car in the all-too-familiar direction and return to reality tomorrow. And maybe, just maybe, I'll have some fun.
