We all have those days...days where nothing seemingly goes right. Days where we stand in front of 30 students, unhappy to be forced into a clssroom. Days where parent emails, district emails, administration emails flood our inboxes. And it is those days when I wonder, what if? What if I did something different? What would it be?
I could work in a bookstore, surrounding myself with paper, ink, and coffee. I would enjoy running my hands over the new books, smelling the insides, the new print smell. I could happily help customers find books that appeal to them or read to little children, eagerly wanting to hear the latest Magic Treehouse book. I could spend hours with customers passionate about reading, discussing our favorite authors, poets, and genres. I could even read all the People magazines I want without having to buy one. And the best part? I can leave at the end of my shift and take nothing home...nothing but a book, of course.
There are downsides, however. Standing for eight hours a day, minimal breaks, minimum wage, cranky customers, crummy hours, and weekends. But it's an appealing fantasy, especially when everything is so stressful right now.
What else can I do? Work in a bank? Work in an office? Work in a department store? None of those seem appealing. Neither does real estate, waitressing, or sales. I wonder, though, what it would be like to work for 911 or some hotline. A doctor's office? Social work? What am I qualified to do?
And why, in October, am I having fantasies about a new career? I'm not having fun. Each day feels like a battle to do anything. I can complain and complain, but what good does it do? I can be stricter, but that makes even more work for me, and I'm not sure how much stricter I can be. Why can't my students be on time, be prepared, and do what's asked of them? Why do they have to make everything so difficult? Why do they get to take away my fun? Why should I do all the work? At what point do students assume responsibility for themselves? And what will happen to them when they are out in the workplace or in a college classroom, unable to function?
And while a new career sounds appealing, I think I just need a day off.
