Communication is key to maintaining good relationships, whether they are personal or professional. And yet it seems so difficult for so many to take the time to listen to others and understand varying points of view. Failure to do so results in frustration, anger, and poor relationships.
There are so many ways to communicate, and yet we seemingly grow worse with it. It's hard to understand the tone of an email or text, and it's easy to respond with hostility when feeling confronted. Texts are the same; it's easy to misinterpret the tone of a text, and even easier to respond hurtfully. Granted, email and texting make it easier and quicker to communicate; it's easy to hit send rather than talk to someone face to face.
Between my students and my coworkers, I'm inundated each day with a barrage of emails. While I don't necessarily mind, I am frustrated when my messages are misread or misunderstood or not read at all. It's hard to communicate face to face with people who don't listen, so it seems logical to send an email, right? That way those folks who have difficulty in focusing on what's said can read and reread a message. Wrong! Even then the emails are misunderstood and a ruckus is made. For what purpose? How hard is it to take a few minutes to reread a message before responding and hitting send? How much easier work would be if people read their compositions as well as the emails they receive.
It's the same at home. Regardless of the number of ways to communicate, misunderstandings occur. Plans are made or something happens that isn't relayed to the other. Naturally, feelings are hurt, frustration grows, and on occasion, harsh words are said. Once "send" is pushed, there's no going back. The words float in cyberspace and cannot be taken back. Before cell phones, I remember people making effort to call loved ones to tell them if they'd be late or not. Now it's almost too inconvenient to do so.
We are so quick to respond emotionally to any and all situations. When did we become so infantile? When do we learn to handle breakdowns in communication with logic and reason rather than emotion and sarcasm? Isn't it more effective to take a deep breath and to consider how or what to respond before doing so? A friend talks about how we all have our 'goggles,' which I totally understand, but how do we develop our own awareness of when our goggles are affecting our abilities to listen and respond effectively
I like to think I'm pretty good at communcation, but I've had several incidents in the last few days that cause to me reconsider this evaluation of myself. I've received tonal email from parents, students, and coworkers, and quite frankly, I'm feeling like telling everyone, "If you've got something to say to me come and say it to my face. Stop hiding behind email!" My job is hard enough, and then to have this added stress of poor communication makes my job even harder. It would be nice to have people grow up a little, to stop taking everything as a personal attack, and to learn to listen better as part of communicating more effectively.
